Communion 12
I’ve long ached for an epiphany – for things to come whooshing in, connecting, clarifying, lining up. I’ve witnessed it happening to other women, and I’ve held the space for women so it could happen for them, but I’ve never had The Big Epiphany myself . . . until 4:50 this morning when I woke up with a start and clarity like I didn’t know was possible. I saw cloths, I transcribed my artist statement, I knew what I do and do not want to do. I couldn’t turn the light on, though, cause Andy was sleeping, so I just sent myself an email and when I copied it into my journal later this morning, it filled almost 20 pages. Astonishing in every way.
Communion 10
(Communion is the series where I stitch what conversations with Nancy look like.)
I designed eleven cloths today, basting each one of them so that they’re ready to stitch. Yes, that’s right: eleven.
Andy threw some more pots, but honestly, I’ve lost count. Late in the afternoon, I did accept an invitation to join the potters who convened on a nearby bar for drinks, and what a fun bunch they are! After supper, it was back to the studio for me. I could stay here forever.
Ah, for that “eureka” moment, when all is suddenly clear and the answer shines with the light of a sun, blocking all the extraneous noise. Well, I guess Paul did have one on the road to Damascas….but is that a reliable metaphor for growth, or just more Pauline plablum? I read a quote by Gail Godwin yesterday: “None of us suddenly becomes something overnight. The preparations have been in the making for a lifetime.” Perhaps you see this morning why I get up so early, before the masses begin their diverse distractions. I know you are a master of multi-task and I’ve done a little juggling too…but, it is still up to us to find that time to focus. It does not come from the outside…but from within. Do get in touch with me about that book. These Communions are fantastic, and may be what you need to be doing…but until you settle this book, an enterprise that seems to get put off at every turn…you will be at the mercy of its cloud hanging over you. Do you want the story in print, or is this just a way to keep your father’s memory on your plate….something to juggle along with the other enterprises intersecting your day. Of course, it’s none of my business, and the answer doesn’t really matter except that the answer will be, as it was for me, a eureka moment. I don’t have to keep answering that question. I’ve already written it. .
Love this space you have found in yourself – that clearly also makes space for love and acceptance – that openly gives space to sweetness and fullness – that obviously expresses the joy in your being. Thank you for sharing all along the way. We don’t expect what we find, but it is so familiar once we find it. It is self, self in the small-est and vast-est ways. Joyful to see and read your post.
I love even the word EPIPHANY!