Jeanne Hewell-Chambers

+ Her Barefoot Heart

Tag: 365altars (Page 1 of 7)

the first man i ever gave my whole heart to (& i’d do it again in a snap)

May 14, 2012 / / 2 Comments

Daddy2

today is my daddy’s birthday,
and he’s not here to celebrate.
because he died way, way, way too early,
my daddy did, and
i spend part of every single day missing him,
wishing i could tuck my hand in his big, rough hand with the pudgy fingers.
wishing i could feel him scoop me up in his arms,
biting his bottom lip as though he needed to do that
to keep from hugging me with the full force of his love
and breaking my ribs.
what i wouldn’t give
to hear him call me doll or hon,
to see his shoulders reach up
to touch his ears
as he cackled in laughter.
i’d love to hear him tell me
his stories just one more time,
to take him to breakfast
or anywhere, for that matter.

i still have the note,
you know,
a handwritten thank you note
(not something Daddy was known for)
thanking me for taking him
to a new restaurant just down the road
for breakfast biscuits.
“This has been the best day of my life,”
he wrote.
the best day of his life.
and all i did was take him out for a biscuit.

something i wish i’d done much more often.

~~ ::: ~~

today’s altar: reminisce

more about 365 Altars here

release

May 5, 2012 / / 0 Comments

Elease1

and then the day came
when she opened her fingers,
relaxing the chokehold she had
on things that no longer seemed
so important.

and in that releasing,
the fronds of her heart unfurled,
the leaves becoming steps
allowing entry to
more goodness
than she’d dared
dream possible.

~~ :: ~~

today’s altar: release

egress/ingress

May 5, 2012 / / 3 Comments

Elease1

and then the day came
when she opened her fingers,
relaxing the chokehold she had
on things that no longer seemed
so important.

and in that releasing,
the fronds of her heart unfurled,
the leaves becoming steps
allowing entry to
more goodness
than she’d dared
dream possible.

~~ :: ~~

today’s altar: release

More about 365 Altars

determination

April 25, 2012 / / 5 Comments

Tear1

they were productive,
these women.
cooking
cleaning
planning
preserving
sewing
planting
teaching
cutting
picking
tending
and more.

and sometimes,
sometimes for days on end,
they cried.
they cried silently and
without attracting attention
because to explain
in words
what every teardrop held
seemed an insurmountable task.

~~ :: ~~

today’s altar (cloth): determination

More about 365 Altars

cutting through

April 23, 2012 / / 9 Comments

Scissors1

I’d like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There’s a somebody I’m longin’ to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who’ll watch over me.

i’ve been a feminist all my life, and yet . . . these lyrics to the george gershwin song always bring tears to my eyes.

always.

do i strive for self-reliance because of feminism or is it borne of disappointment and enough experience to know the truth behind the old saying “if you want something done right, do it yourself”? does it matter? and even though most days i want to be a self-reliant woman, i am not ashamed to tell you that way down deep, i want to be taken care of.

at least sometimes.

“can a woman be self-reliant and still feel betrayal and abandonment at the hands of another?” i recently asked a friend of mine who enjoys these chewy conversations as much as i do. of course one question begets another then another, such as: is self-reliance really the goal, and if so, what does desirable/healthy self-reliance look like? and: how has the journey to self-reliance hurt women? helped women? and last (for now) but definitely not least: say we want to be held, to be seen, to be taken care of (at least on occasion). is that possible to go hand-in-hand with being self-reliant? which, of course, leads us to still more questions about asking for help, vulnerability, worthiness . . .

you get the gist.

join in if you want. share your thoughts, your questions, your stories. the more the merrier . . .

~~ ::: ~~

today’s altar is dedicated to cutting through it – whatever “it” is, staying with “it” as long as it takes.

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staying . . . again

April 22, 2012 / / 9 Comments

Process

when i hatched the idea for 365 altars, it was on the fly – an impromptu project that appealed to me in many ways and for many reasons. (we’ll talk later.) but then i began to think too darn much, and before long, i’d thought myself right into the sideline bleachers. but here i am, back today with renewed commitment to persevering, even in the throes of uncertainty.

and to mark this occasion, i choose this particular cloth-in-progress. i’ve been working on it a good little while – in fits of starts and stops. i get to a place of blankness and stop, laying it down to work on something else a while, then like magic, i see what to do next with this cloth, so back into my hands it flies until the next blankness.

such is the nature of creativity, me thinks, ephemeral cauldrons swirling with alternating bouts of certainty and uncertainty, stitched together with a commitment to “simply” stay with it until the blankness is a certainty that you’ve reached the finish line and you raise your head to see a path, a doorway, breadcrumbs leading to what’s next . . .

~~ :: ~~

More about 365 Altars

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