for the eve: a tale

friday night, mother decided she wanted to come home 4 days early. she said it was so i could spend time with my husband – and i’m sure that’s part of it – but i also think she was ready to come home.

there’s a whole lot more i want to say about that and about our time together, but i’m a little distracted cause, well, see, here’s the thing: after three years of tire-kicking, i officially signed up for nanowrimo this year.

which starts in less than 4 hours.

i’m actively researching a non-fiction book, but since that could wind up taking 3 years or more on the research alone, i decided nano would be a fine opportunity to bring that story idea out – the one that’s been lurking around in my imagination for 8 years or more – the fiction piece.

yes, 8-year-old fiction.

but with nano’s clock ticking loudly, i am visited by the ultimate writer’s block: i can’t even remember the idea.

i’m breathing deeply and revisiting the notes i’ve scribbled out over the years (i thought there was more!)

sometimes accomplishment moves me into a new place, so i made a to do list. i still need to:
clear my desk
file all those papers
decide on a writing sweater
flesh out a writing writual
decide which candle
make out menus for the next 4 weeks
and grocery lists
finish christmas shopping
pluck my eyebrows
clear out and reorganize the pantry
change the answering machine message to say “not now dearie”

well shoot, as you can see, i’m suffering from a bad case of writer’s procrastination and paralysis.

so to hell with the notes and to hell with the list. i’m off get my daughter to don her costume again and canvas the neighborhood. i’m telling her to go as far as necessary, to stay out as late as needed, that i don’t want to see her back here until she has a bag FULL of chocolate.