Maybe

from my journal, dated 12/25/11 (but still true):

maybe it’s because i have a tendency to live, think, walk and breathe in metaphors.

maybe it’s because i’m still too invested in pleasing others.

maybe it’s because i don’t have enough degrees.

maybe it’s because i don’t travel enough, don’t cook enough, don’t . . . don’t . . . don’t. . .

maybe it’s because i have far more questions than answers.

maybe it’s because i’m unwilling or distrustful or too egocentric to just take what you tell me as the gospel truth.

i don’t know why,
i only know that
i have a restless soul
that wants to be
listened to deeply
loved wholeheartedly
seen lightly
touched tenderly.
my spirit
begs space to ask
the questions
and patience
to find the answers
understanding
that the answers
might be
more questions
or a painting
or dance
or cloth
or sky
or grass
or weeds
or fire
or rain.

my soul
has an itch
that no amount
of over the counter
analgesic
or prescription
anti-itch
ointment
can soothe.
and the worst part?
the itch moves
and shifts
and enjoys
playing
hide and seek.

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