+ Her Barefoot Heart

Month: October 2011

the way we were . . . are

Reunion2

i am honored to have been the entertainment for my high school class reunion last saturday night. now, almost a week later, i’m still enjoying the afterglow. there’s something downright magical about standing before your true peers, leading them on a trek down memory lane – a trek you know from the outset won’t be finished that night. i’ve got enough stuff and enough stories to last at least two more treks, a.k.a. reunions. there’s simply never enough time, is there?

my mother had her class reunion that same day – class of 1945. they get together every october – every single october. their love and support for each other is strong. maybe they cleared the path for us. maybe they set the stage, the example.

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a surprisingly large number of us went through all 12 years of school together – that’s really something, isn’t it? we knew each other’s parents and fought with each other’s siblings like they were our own. though we knew there was a mother round every corner making it downright impossible to get away with anything, we still tried. occasionally. the entire village raised us, and i don’t remember one parent ever turning on another with that how-dare-you attitude. they simply thanked each other for caring enough, then resumed the badminton game.

such a satisfying sense of groundedness to be with people you bore witness to and who bore witness to you throughout years of major evolutionary and developmental changes. people who you spent 6-7 hours a day with in class, then several more hours in after school activities, then church and other community events. spending the nights together, partying, talking on the phone. learning, knowing, realizing, grappling, struggling, celebrating together. it was fun to reconnect. to remember. to leave the years and any unpleasant memories far, far away from this gathering. to laugh nostalgically. to note countless times we’ve amazed and astounded ourselves and each other.

only one person asked me the dreaded question “what do you do?” maybe it’s cause nobody’s interested, but i prefer to attribute it to a deeper level of togetherness and acceptance that connects us. a knowing that what we do isn’t who we are, and who we are is what’s most important. there is space in our togetherness. there is love in our togetherness. the kind of space that just happens. the kind of love you can’t buy.

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Rhonda Update

Lotus

Thank you all for continuing to embrace Rhonda. I haven’t spoken with her since I posted her journal pieces, but finally this comes in. This entire experience of being in different states (and I mean “states” in oh so many ways) is a proving ground for trust, faith, and love. I will continue to post updates as I receive them, and I continue to thank you for continuing to hold a space for Rhonda . . .

FROM RHONDA:

S.O.S.
(Slinking out of Silence)

I alarm an emergency call because I am silenced. This is an unnatural, even painful state.

I am getting hit by multiple UTIs. My Urologist does not want me to take antibiotics, fearing my later immunity to the large doses. I am now only treating UTIs with large amounts of liquid.

My inability to write is also due to the voice to text new software that I have still not learned to use adequately. And also my voice when I have infections is not loud enough to register type.

The third whammy against me was my recent “oops” of dropping my drinking water on to the keyboard. Needless to say, it was dead.

I am not directly composing this journal entry. Dorothy, Mike’s mom, is typing it for me. “I’m glad to do it” she says.

happy, happy

My friend, Angela, is one amazing woman, and if you don’t know her, you should. A voracious reader, a tenacious seeker, a sensitive, thoughtful woman who coined the term “theel” to bring together thinking and feeling as a way of being in the world, Angela is intensely loyal to her friends, her family, her causes. Having survived an abusive marriage, Angela is now putting the final spit polish on her memoir, and let me tell you: it is truthful and it is captivating. Thoroughly dedicated to ridding the world of domestic violence, Angela and her cohorts have just launched In Real Life, a web site dedicated to providing information, support, resources, and a safe place for vitally important discussion and equally important hope for those in abusive relationships. It’s the kind of thing she does, the kind of thing she puts her heart and whole self into.

Three weeks ago her beloved Gracie died, and Angela goes through grief as she goes through life: with grace and humility, and frankly, an inquisitiveness that is simultaneously admirable and touching. Like the ancient Greeks, Angela dedicates herself to becoming the best person she can be. Despite her advanced degrees, when it comes to learning, she’s a sponge. When it comes to living, she is fearless. When it comes to loving, she is indefatigable.

So here I am, using capital letters and squeaking in at the very last minute of her birthday 2011, mere minutes before I turn into a pumpkin to say:

Happy, birthday,

Acurtains1

n

g

e

Lclock

Atree

I love you, my friend.

autoblueography

i am

Vintage

vintage

i am

Vast

vast.

i am

Hot

the hottest
part of the flame
with plenty
of wick
remaining.

i am

Cloth1

strips of fabric
torn to find the
true grain
then
woven together
into a
whole cloth.

i

Bluewave1

bloom

i

Birds

soar

i

Reflect

reflect

i

Rainbow

refract.

i

Mountains

stand tall –
majestic, even –
but am learning
to let things
crumble
and fall
when it’s time.

i am

Layers

layers

and

Light

light

and

Gifts

gifts
yet unwrapped.

i am
at one with
the world of

Blue

so many ways

All things are symbolic by their very nature
and all talk of something beyond themselves.
~Thomas Merton

There are

Riviera1

so many ways

Sangria1

to see

Sangria8

a dahlia,

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each of them

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beautiful

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in their own

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unique

Sangria

way

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if you ask me.

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and i can’t help

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but wonder

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how different things would be if

Sangria3

we could see

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people

Sangria7

as dahlias.